In this short article we will enter the heart of jealousy, trying to explore those sides that are not normally seen, but which risk becoming energy and time thieves, making us lose sight of lucidity and behavioral awareness.
A first fundamental element to take into consideration concerns the projective aspect of jealousy: the risk that a particularly jealous person is the first to betray is an aspect to be considered and taken into consideration with care.
The indicators to keep in mind are the following:
- Is jealousy given by obsessive acts such as chronically checking the other's cell phone without the loved one knowing it and with chronic frequency? This is a very strong indicator that the jealous person is not being transparent. It almost seems to be looking for a handhold to highlight the other's shortcomings to dry up one's sense of guilt, activating the T.C.T. ( It's all your fault). In cases like these, the relationship is at great risk because what nourishes a relationship is trust. How long does it take to develop trust? How long does it take to lose it? Often the time to build trust is relevant, while the time when trust is lost is the game of a moment.
Now let’s look at another indicator:
- On the basis of an objective fact such as a discovered lie, a direct confrontation arises which brings out a risk of loss of trust. This, for example, is an extremely valuable indicator for the relationship because it is constructive criticism that opens a healthy door in jealousy. Learning to consciously share your emotions means learning to manifest your fragility clearly.
THE HEALTHY VERSION AND THE INSANE ONE
Healthy jealousy is the one that opens the door to feedback, which allows for the generation of a pact after highlighting the cracks that can become a new opportunity for listening and comparison.
Instead, insane jealousy is the one that determines control of the other, that seeks guilt, that limits awareness, that thrives on defense mechanisms.
Unhealthy jealousy is often the one where love, if there has been, has already gone away to make room for lies, communicative violence and unfortunately often physical too.
Recognizing your jealousy, going to the root of the reasons why it occurs, learning to tell it like it is, giving dignity to your emotions and seeking a clean confrontation with those you love are the basis for taking care of the relationships that really matter .
If you want to find out your level of jealousy and check where you are with your equilibrium on the points examined, you can request a personalized coaching session where you will be able to experience a personalized pre-work questionnaire, a 2-hour session and a customized report.
I am waiting for you!